what have you done?

a poem by nain f. ladak

there’s no magic
in the void

ask where it it went
If you are brave enough
                  naive 

then await your sentence

the first to experience my joy
as their own
and watch the car as 
——WIND BREAKS

and i halt
the world moves on
I remain
unfrozen
returned

no glory
just time 
to remember
romanticize
contort what was
for a 
        small escape

escapes turn to madness
endless nights missing
years unavailable

The damage you leave in your wake is more powerful than anything you have done or will do

you live as shattered glass on the pavement

It makes no difference
If you move
or freeze
or run

What have you done?
the voice taunts
are you even trying?
as you begin to move
you are brought back
you are a failure

unloved
I will learn to be
a martyr that no one asked for
I will make different choices
what have you done to deserve respect
I’ve done nothing

once i would have cared
today i am tired
I wish for the voice to go

but it remains
like a layer of skin
sewn into every 
movement
It’s familiar. 
It had its way
I’m stronger now.

home feels warmer
you are nothing
and i am content 
most days
she wants more