freefall

a poem by nain f. ladak

trigger warning : death, graphic description of injury

For them,                                        
a slap on the
	        wrist

For me,
a nudge towards a 
                cliff

As I freefall
and they 
	        watch

and learn
and deny

Adamant
that they have done something
right

And me?
Who had done everything
Pushed m
                y
                  s
                   e
                     l
                      f 

Until my heels slip
From the edge 
right?

not enough
always wrong
never quite
cut out for this?

a stutter? 
               cut
a headache? 
               cut
a deep breath? 
               cut

and as i bled
sympathy like cotton
on a skull cracked wide open
soul escaping, voice missing

Adamant
that they’ve done all
that they can
TRYING
to understand
as I pass

guilt
turns to prayers
I see now how she bled
 care
 know
consider

the commotion of my landing, tears shed
a corpse will grow flowers at their prayers!

they forget again, 
and another lands next to me
another at my feet and another 
and another on my back
until I am out of sight.

Happy Funeral!
Thank you for making time for me.
Best Regards,
A dead girl