1. no more apologies set the table at midnight sorry for burnt dinner I wasn’t paying attention was I? caught between Suns and Moons sorry, sorry Twice because it’s not enough wrong horse scratching the paint she sees me so clearly just a little off center sometimes but always true there is no time for anything else but so much time to change and change again or stand still. I can’t always tell if we should stop. or keep going what I never always do is rest. but we’re frozen or at least I am. fawn for love farm from what’s given to you this dirt will thaw and Mother will bloom again trains of thought leave the station too early too late I’ll see you in tomorrow today’s Sun I love you, 12:01 2. When The Hopeful Hypocrite Dreams of Today my head hurts and I’ve wasted another day Time I can’t crawl back to my ship sails, forward, through but the anchor drags, “do as I say” I say not as I do. hopeful hypocrite promising Warmth to the cold as if I hadn’t stretched these corners a blanket that wouldn’t grow to be enough “I know it is heavy” I say “I know how dark, how cold it can get.” and it can always get Colder Fear grips at me just as I witness its latching get away from them! I say But sometimes it’s not enough this active healing that takes place it’s a scary thing, don’t you understand? Of course, I do. do you think apologies are enough? Of course, I don’t. even-toned placations Little one, I wonder what it would be like to meet you now Worried and worried Wondering if tomorrow would be easier then easy comes I promise it does but first, we must sail through treacherous waters of the beaten spirit I will be our captain, help me sail for fortunately, my destiny is hope. 3. just wait for dawn in the middle of the night I collect My sticks My stones and the bark of the tree that fell no sound no witness except the bird that fluttered away, losing her children in the heavy thump of her home I walk and walk with a nest in my arms I gather, sobbing, heaving the emptiness inside of me mourning for more than my pain finally, Warmth beside me somehow, in the dead of the night I had forgotten the sun would rise again We wouldn’t be alone anymore lay down these burdens I welcome the End and the Beginning Mother comes back tittering along a quiet murmuring a soulful grievance there is no consolation except to ask if you can let the light the warmth touch your wings knowing it never got to touch your heartstrings can we lay down in the soil and let Mother take us back? can we wait for dawn? can I wait with you? I have all of the time in the world.
Insiya Abbas is a New Jersey–based writer, avid daydreamer and is currently completing her Master’s degree in Clinical and Counseling Psychology. Her poetry has been performed at local open mics and the New Jersey District Tournament for Speech and Debate. Abbas' work explores emotional truth and falsehoods and the intersection between identity, healing, and imagination. You can find her writing on Medium and Substack at @insiyabbas.